Whatever I say, it won’t be enough…


Margaret (Mickey), Major KearneyToday is the 7th anniversary the death of my mother. In remembrance, this is the Eulogy I presented at her funeral. 

I am the youngest of three very fortunate boys.

We are fortunate because we had many years of love and caring from the remarkable woman that we are remembering today. Today is a sad day, but it is not a tragic day. Dying after 90 years filled with good friends and family, happy places, travel and of course the joy of raising three well behaved boys is not really a bad thing…its a natural thing.

Mom was many things;

  • Mom was a sister to Felix and Fran, and Mark and Philip, Paul and Peter and of course little David.
  • She was a teacher and mother to myself, Peter and Rob.
  • She was a friend of many…
  • And of course she was the better half of Ted and Mickey.

Ted and Mickey, Mickey and Ted.

  • An amazing couple
  • Traveled the world
  • Skied in the Laurentians in the winter
  • Moved To Lancaster by the Sea in the Summer
  • Later they became snow birds spending the better part of 6 months a year partying and playing golf in Florida.
  • They still came back to Glen Gordon every summer.
  • At least once a year for 20 odd years Ted and Mickey would go on a cruise and return with stories of fabulous meals and wonderful people that they had met.

Mom was a Wonderful person and seemed to attract wonderful people — her friends in Florida and Rockwood, Montreal and around the world — Wherever she was friends seemed to appear.

No remembrance of Mickey would be complete without some mention of her summer home for 50 years, Glen Gordon Estates. Another place full of wonderful people.

Recently I came across a truism that goes like this; “ A grief shared is diminished, while joy shared is increased.”

One of the great things about place like Glen Gordon Estates is that this truism is proven true time and again, most recently in how Glen Godonites, have helped us deal with the loss of dad a couple of years ago and now mom. Thank you.

She taught me about congeniality, the art of being polite and friendly. Whenever she came into contact with others people it was almost always a pleasant experience.

She had opinions and was not afraid to express them, however this was tempered by her tact and tolerance and she rarely if ever offended.

She taught me how to avoid unnecessary conflict, mediate and see different sides of the same story. These are skills I use every day in my work and I am thankful for them.

I remember as a child we were listening to records, she was trying to develop my appreciation for classical music. After one record had ended I asked if I could play her one of my recent purchases; billion dollar babies by the shock rocker of the day, Alice Cooper, …needless to say it was not her cup of tea, but never the less she found something good to say and I always respected her for that.

She was very proper in her manners and approach to things, but at the same time she held a deep tolerance for things outside of her beliefs. One of the most important things I learned from her was that it is ok to travel your own path.

One of the ways mom lives on is in the sayings that she imparted on me and that I now inflict on my family. Things like “nothing ventured, nothing gained” , “a penny saved is a penny earned”, and my personal favorite which is actually her mother speaking from across the generations; ” if wishes were horses, beggars would ride” besides knowing that meant I was not going to get what I was asking for, I did not really understand it for many years…

We all spent a lot of time with Mom in the last few weeks of her life and although it was an emotional time filled with difficult decisions and heart to heart discussions, it was not an altogether bad thing.

For one it brought her three boys together and forced them to communicate on a level previously unheard of …btw we are still getting along mom.

In the time I was with her there were few cognitive exchanges but many warm smiles. She was not with us then, but wherever she was it looked like a pleasant place.

She would chat happily at times saying things like;“I stepped on my father’s toes” or “have you heard the story” and one of the last coherent things she said to me was a directive to “be sure and share her uneaten dinner with everyone else.

These are sad days, filled with happy memories.

I love you mom,

say hi to Ted for me.

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About Thom Kearney

Change agent, teacher, arts, science, open government, father, mentor, storyteller, husband, dog owner,collaborator, not necessarily in that order.
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One Response to Whatever I say, it won’t be enough…

  1. Thom Kearney says:

    Reblogged this on NuSum and commented:

    In honour of mother’s day…

    Like

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